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Inspirational Insight

‘When you are here and now, sitting totally, not jumping ahead, the miracle has happened. To be in the moment is the miracle.’ – Osho

Busy, busy, busy world. Busy life, running around in circles is the norm for most people. And that’s how it is, but in-between busy and wind down lies a space of sitting. Sitting totally in the here and now. Thoughts quietened, not jumping ahead to the next busy, busy time.

Wow now you’re in the midst of a miracle. The miracle of sitting in your own space, no stories running riot in your head, trying their best to distract you from your Inner Well Being.

Deep joy as as you savour being in the moment. Truly, is there any experience nicer than the joy of being you. Miracles occur every moment of every day. You only have to sit in the here and now – simple yes.

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photo credit: dharma communications (http://www NULL.flickr NULL.com/photos/dougellis/84225831/) via photo pin (http://photopin NULL.com) cc (http://creativecommons NULL.org/licenses/by-nc/2 NULL.0/)

A Question of Abundance

Last week I was fortunate to attend a charity lunch in aid of the Little Havens Hospice (http://www NULL.havenshospices NULL.org NULL.uk/little_havens_care/about-little-havens/little_havens_facilities), based in Thundesley Essex.  I wrote about the wonderful time I had here (http://www NULL.sparkles4life NULL.com/lovely-lunch/).  Fast forward a few days later as I was doing the weekly shop, when I noticed some charity workers based at the entrance of the store.

The Help for Heroes (http://www NULL.helpforheroes NULL.org NULL.uk/splash_events_and_fundraiser NULL.html) charity had a stall near the exit and were asking for donations as you left with your full trolley of goodies for the coming week.  A few others standing nearby also shook their tins, collecting for other good, needy causes.

Once upon a long time ago, those tin shakers would have made me cross, with thoughts of ‘there they are again, loitering to make me feel guilty enough to feed their tins.’  Guilty, because being on a fairly inflexible budget meant whatever went in the tin meant something else, that had my name on it, had to go.

I didn’t really begrudge it, just didn’t want to go without myself.  Being young was also a time of self interest and being selfish.  But it wasn’t without the angst and guilt either.

I’ve grown up a lot since then (I hope), and nowadays, instead of crossing the road with my head down, I smile as I drop some money in the tins.  I willingly give to those who need a helping hand.

And here’s why.  In a moment of clarity I saw what the Universe was gifting me.  It’s all about abundance.  The abundance that is a two way gift.  Giving and receiving.  Each and every one of those charity tins is a wonderful opportunity to be abundance in action, and give something back.

It’s always my choice.  I give because I can, because I want to, and not because I feel I should.  I have a great admiration for those volunteers who gladly give up their time, standing there facing the abuse that sometimes comes their way.  You can just as easily feel waves of abuse without any words being spoken out loud.

It’s such an easy thing to do.  To drop some coins in a charity tin and hear the satisfying clink as it hits the other coins in the tin.  Kerching.  How does abundance get any better than that.

 

photo credit: marfis75 (http://www NULL.flickr NULL.com/photos/marfis75/2298582957/) via photo pin (http://photopin NULL.com) cc (http://creativecommons NULL.org/licenses/by-sa/2 NULL.0/)

Speed dial for the past

‘You really ought to have a look at the Course in Miracles’ said Joseph, after a recent seminar with Robert Holden (http://www NULL.happiness NULL.co NULL.uk/inspiration/inspiration NULL.php) and Michael Neill (http://www NULL.supercoach NULL.com/category/inside/).  Always happy to explore new perspectives I googled for more information  Luckily for me, I came across the site Pathways of Light  (http://www NULL.pathwaysoflight NULL.org/) where I found a section showing the lessons one by one.

‘Perfect’, I thought ‘this gives the chance to study the lessons in my own time, and see where it takes me.’  It looks like it’s someones notes as they worked through the course themselves.   This gives it a personal input that I like.

I came across the lesson ‘I see only the past’, which goes on to state the past is the only place we can ever see anything from.  You can’t look back on the present moment, you can only experience it as it happens.  You can’t see the future, you can only second guess what may or may not happen.

One sentence stood out from the rest, ‘Unforgiveness, holding a grievance, is simply holding the past against the present’.  One light bulb moment later, and I was liberated from the grievances petty, or otherwise, that I had been holding close to my chest, ready to roll out as, and when necessary.

The truth hit me.  My past was on speed dial and I was using it as a stick to beat myself up.  Using it as a measure against what was happening in the present moment, instead of letting it go.

Funny how I spent years listening to my clients stories as they clung to their pasts, without realising how much of my own wafted around me like a favourite perfume labelled ‘cling’.

When I see only my past then I can’t access my Inner Wisdom, which works in the here and now?  And I’d much rather access my Inner Wisdom for guidance through life.

I’m guessing the way forward is to watch the thoughts as they drift through, rather than reel them into my consciousness.  I know I can distract any persistent thoughts with music or some other diverting tactic.

I’m deleting my ‘speed dial for the past’ number from my subconscious mind.  Let’s see how well it does going through voice mail.

New beginnings to follow your bliss

Every day is the start of something new.  It’s happening all the time, but most of the time we don’t notice the slight changes that occur.  I decided to change the banner for my Inspirational Insights (see box on right).  I wanted a new one to reflect the changes in my own journey.

I am moving further and further away from one to one coaching, so it makes sense to move towards what I am spending my time on.  The first step was to create a new banner.  Tweaking here and there, you can see the end result in the picture above.  Short and sweet – it does what it says on the label.  No call to action, no strap line, just ‘Jan Marchant’s Inspirational Insights’.

Next step was to go into my auto responder account to update the Insights that are already written, waiting to be sent to the people who have signed up for them.  I’ve already written 110 Insights, with a new one added weekly, so this is no small task I have set myself.

It would be much easier to leave it as it is.  After all, who would know any difference apart from me?  But it’s not really an option.  If I’m learning and growing, then change is the outcome.  The new banner reflects one of those changes.

In all honesty, I’m not finished yet.  I’m up to Insight No. 71.  Rainy weather meant I had more time indoors, so I used it to get started – secretly pleased that the weather was abetting me in my plan.

Easy peasy.  No, not really.  What happens when you decide to change one small thing?  You start to look at what else is there and make small tweaks as you go along.

I found that the font text was all over the place, so I knew that each one would need to be adjusted to ensure that the only difference was the text for each Insight.  I’m no expert in the language of the web, suffice to say that it’s not like tweaking document text.

It appears to have a mind of its own sometimes and one small change led to challenges that had to be worked out to continue.  Text changing font or font size was the least of it.  But I soldiered on gamely, in the knowledge that at the very least, I would have a better understanding of how the code for web text works.

My update will be finished in a few days.  I could sit back and pat myself on the back for a job well done (well in my eyes at least), but now I have started on my new beginnings I want to continue.  The free ebook is next on my list for updating.

I want to share any new thoughts on living your best life.  Giving others another option in their quest to well being and happiness makes my heart sing.

And you know what they say.  Follow your heart, follow your bliss – it’s a no brainer really.

Life Loves Me

Life loves me.  That’s quite a statement to take on board isn’t it?  And yet, it’s true for each and everyone of us.  The hard part is believing it’s true for you.

Listening to Robert Holden (http://www NULL.happiness NULL.co NULL.uk/inspiration/inspiration NULL.php) and Michael Neill (http://www NULL.supercoach NULL.com/category/inside/) at the wonderful ‘Psycology of Miracles: Learning to Thrive in Uncertain Times’ seminar, those words resonated.

Out of an amazing day of love and inspiration those three words ‘Life Loves Me’ hit me between the eyes and something shifted.

Life loves me so why did I never realise it before now?  It may have been because I’ve been too busy chasing money.  You know, the money that would make everything easier.

The money that enabled me to buy anything that took my fancy, that pay’s the bills and puts food on the table.  Paying my way in life.  Having fun, going on exotic holidays or personal development courses, plus a whole scale of other treats over the years.

Was I happy?  Of course I was.  All the times I was doing or pursuing something new I was on a high, that lasted for as long as the experience.

In between those highs, I worked hard, but I knew something was missing.  But hey, one more book or one more workshop would fill in the blanks wouldn’t it?  Chasing inspiration.  I had loads of fun where I met great people and learned heaps.  It was the gaps in between that highlighted what was missing.

But keep going and eventually something will shift.  Awareness grows and resistance crumbles away bit by bit.  As with an onion, the layers are peeled away until finally, there are no more layers.

You’re left with yourself.  The core of the reactions, the emotions to everything that happens to you.  And most people (myself included) don’t like what shows up. You begin to realise that you have been living from the outside-in, rather than from the inside-out.  Letting outside influences make decisions rather than trusting the Inner Wisdom that waits patiently to help.

I’m a firm believer that the Universe brings you what you need to grow.  Why wouldn’t it, it loves us after all.  We don’t always see what shows up and that’s OK.  More opportunities wait to show up, another book, a chance remark, a kindness from an unexpected quarter.  Whatever it is, it opens a door to explore deeper.

Mine led me to Jamie Smart (http://www NULL.saladltd NULL.co NULL.uk/blog/?p=1142) with his love and understanding of the Three Principles of Mind, Thought and Consciousness (http://www NULL.threeprinciplesfoundation NULL.org/).  Four weekend workshops later and a layer was peeled back.  A glimmer of realisation.

My thoughts are not real.  They’re just stories in my head that I play over and over as I go through life.  Some of them come from well meaning adults like my parents or teachers.  They come from outside of me.

Not wanting me to suffer as they did, they passed their fears and insecurities onto me where I nourished them until they became mine.  I was so fearful that no matter what high I reached, thoughts pulled me down again, reminding me that ‘I wasn’t good enough’, ‘I’d never get anywhere if I didn’t do as I was told’, or ‘don’t make waves, stay low and don’t get noticed’.

For goodness sake!  How on earth can any human being love themselves with all that negative self talk running around in their head.

But if the thoughts are not real, just stories, then it becomes possible to rewrite them.  To think new thoughts that enable a person to start to like, then love themselves.

And when you embrace loving yourself, just as you are, a miracle happens.  You see that life does indeed love you.  When you know that for a fact, everything changes and the world is a different place.  Positive living at it’s best.

Here’s the thing.  I can share this with you.  I can tell you until I’m blue in the face.  But I can’t make it happen for you.  That part has to come from you.  Are you ready for the miracle(s) that life has to offer?

If not, why not act as if you are and see what turns up.

Inspirational Insight

‘When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole World belongs to you’ – Lao Tzu

How much time do you spend on ‘improving’ yourself?  Self help books, classes, workshops etc., the list is endless on the quest to be other than who you are now.

Guess what.  You are perfect exactly as you are.  Nothing is lacking.  It only requires you to accept that you are uniquely you.

Seeking outside of yourself for answers is like looking for a needle in a haystack.  Diligently searching straw by straw for something that belongs to A. N. Other. 

Not much fun is it!  Have you noticed that the minute you find what you think you are seeking, it’s not enough – something is still missing.

What if, you let go of ‘improving’ (after all, perfection needs no embellishment) and decided that you lacked nothing.  All your answers lie within and can be accessed via your Inner Wisdom.

Whatever you are exploring is for the sheer joy of it.  Now your focus has shifted and the whole World is up for grabs.  Go on, just reach out and see what happens as your World expands to new horizons where ‘lack’ is an unknown destination.

Want more Inspirational Insights to assist you to grow your inner well being? Just enter your name and email address in the box to you right to receive you own weekly Insights – enjoy x

Drains and Radiators

Enjoying a brilliant lunch with Sue and Lucy a few days ago, I remarked ‘I love meeting up with you two because it’s always great fun.’

Secretly, I was being a bit of a vampire bathing in their high energies. It lifted me in ways that made me feel good from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.  It got me thinking about some of my other friends and how it’s no longer fun when we get together.

Sue turned to me and said ‘have you never heard of drains and radiators?’  No I hadn’t, well only in the context of central heating.  Turns out that drains and radiators are also significant people one way or another.

Take Lucy.  She radiates a vibrancy that’s hard to match.  One of those wonderful people who make the world a brighter place, no matter what life throws at her.  Sue also has that vibrancy.  A way of being that shines into your heart.  As examples of radiators they’re pure gold.

Whether we recognise it or not, we’re all influenced by the people we mix with.  And some leave you so drained of energy that it makes you wonder what attracted you to each other in the first place.  Some might be family who we’ll probably spend time with at some point.  Others comprise of friends and people at work.

Take friends.  When we were younger and shared our dreams, life was in front of us and all things were possible.  The world was ours to conquer.  Fast forward a few years and see where we landed.  Some will have achieved their dreams and are moving towards new ones.  Others will tell you how unfair life is and how everyone conspires against them.

Be honest – which friend is fun to be with.  Here’s the thing, most people are decent human beings and when they meet up with a friend whose having a rough time, they want to help.  Most are thankful for the helping hand and it restores them to a higher energetic level.  Job done.

But it can be hard when you discover some have turned into drains.  They drain you of energy, time and even money.  They’s rarely any payback because they believe life owes them.

If you are unlucky enough to be working with negative people – change your job as soon as you can.  Doesn’t matter how fabulous the pay, eventually the naysayers will wear you down until you morph into a drain yourself.

Back to family.  Be brutal.  If any member of your family is an energy drain, then limit the time you spend with them to a minimum.  Avoid getting sucked into their dramas.

Put yourself and your well being first – no matter who they are.  Cut the toxic drains from your life – your happiness and well being depends on the choices you make.

People who radiate positive energy on the other hand leave you feeling uplifted, inspired and good in the best kind of way.  They have no hidden agendas when you meet.

Radiators love, laugh and live life to the full.  They want you to love and laugh with them.  They listen and encourage you to be, do and go for what makes you, you.

Take time to look for and make friends with life’s radiators.  Surround yourself with people who make you feel good.  Like attracts like, so make sure you practice radiating vibrant, positive energy too.

Smile and the world smiles with you.  Scowl, and eventually you’ll scowl alone – your choice always.

From Surrender to Acceptance

It’s the next big step isn’t it?  From Surrender to Acceptance.  I’m only just beginning to surrender so surely it’s too soon to think about acceptance.  But as night follows day, acceptance of who I Am is what comes with each small surrender of self.

When I am in the grip of not surrendering it feels like I’m powerless, as if I’m not in control.  As if I’m on the losing side of whatever battle is raging inside of me.

But, slowly and surely I’m learning to challenge myself as to why I’m resisting, instead of accepting that what’s happening is just what’s happening in the moment.

Thoughts race around my head, ‘why me’, ‘what did I do wrong’ or ‘it’s all my fault because like attracts like, therefore I must have brought this on myself’.  And so on, and so on.

Wallowing in an orgy of self blame followed by self examination.  Then I realise that wallowing feels great because it’s all about me, albeit for the wrong reasons.

Rather than continue my wallow fest, I decided to listen to a download from Panache Desai around acceptance of I am on every level of my being.  Instead of wallowing in glorious self blame he asked that I try accepting all the perceived negatives instead, all the baggage I believe I am carrying around with me.

Writing it down my negatives included:

I can be selfish, judgemental, critical, angry, thoughtless, secretive, insecure, hostile, indifferent, grumpy, rude, uncaring, cold, self satisfied and a few more besides.

Of course this is not how I am all of the time.  Just now and again as the odd trait rears it’s head.

On the plus side I am honest, caring, thoughtful, non judgemental, non critical, open, confident, kind, interested, motivated, enthusiastic with a love of life that includes a love of mankind.

The point is that I Am all of these things.  They belong to me and are part of me.  Acceptance of all of the parts of me leads to wholeness and being at peace with myself.  Loving and accepting myself exactly as I am means that I can deal with whatever life throws my way moment by moment.

Instead of wasting precious energy being angry, frustrated or indulging in self pity, I can choose instead to acknowledge it then take appropriate action to deal with it.  After all it’s not personal, just life.

My conclusion is that for me, surrender is recognising that it’s OK to be angry (or any of the other negatives) rather than fighting to be in control at all times.  To feel those emotions instead of pushing them away as they try to tell me that something isn’t right and needs dealing with.

Acceptance is listening to and acknowledging all the parts of me instead of fighting the bits I don’t like.  Accepting that life throws crap my way in the same way it throws it at others.  The truth of this will allow me to open fully to the Inner Wisdom that waits patiently to guide me through the maze of life.

What does surrender and acceptance mean to you?  I’d love to see if I have missed anything which would add to, and complete the picture of who I Am, and who You Are.

Surrender versus Control

Light bulb moment - I don’t know how to surrender.  It’s quite a shock as I believed that I was quite good at surrendering.  Turns out I was wrong.  My Inner Controller has had the upper hand all along.

Away from home and helping out with my grandchildren my Internet connection didn’t work.  Horrors of horrors this meant that I was unable to write any posts.

Why worry over such a small blip?  No Internet meant I couldn’t work and I wasn’t happy.  The first small nudge that I don’t like it when I can’t control the outcome.

The second came a few days later.  Barely through the front door and the phone went.  Planned work was cancelled and needed to be rescheduled.  A small detail in the scheme of things but I was so angry.  I wasn’t rude but I wasn’t pleasant either.  Mostly angry that my plans had been scuppered.

Being in control appears to be something that I have made important.  And yet life doesn’t work out that way.  It’s impossible to be in control 24/7.  Wanting that is clearly a road that leads to feelings of disappointment, pain and the chaos of being out of control.

I could name a hundred and one different times, serious or minor, that the outcome has been taken out of my control.  It’s enough to recognise that it happens on a regular basis.

These good, bad or indifferent occurrences all have one thing in common.  Which is the fact that the end result lies in someone else’s hands.  I thought I was in control but, in reality it was never the case.

Most of the time I’m a bit player who’s puffed up my part of the action.

These days I get over myself pretty quickly.  Through the Three Principles of Mind, Thought and Consciousness (http://www NULL.threeprinciplesfoundation NULL.org/)I’m aware that there is never a time when I’m not in control of my thoughts.  I know this and yet I still want to to control the outcome rather than the thought.  Crazy or what!

I know on every level of my being that my Inner Wisdom is unable to communicate with the me who has control issues.  I just don’t know how to surrender that control and set the inner me free.

I’m fine when everything’s going my way.  Life flows the way I want it to and all’s well in my world.  But it’s an illusion that stops me from seeing how much I’m trying to force the outcome.

It stops me from seeing that I am placing my trust on others and what happens in the world outside of me.  News flash.  There isn’t a single person alive who can control other peoples action or what goes on in the world.

The only thing that any one of us can control is our thoughts.  We can change outcomes by looking at things differently.

The truth is that I’ve already surrendered.  I just didn’t know that I’d surrendered to the need to be in control of my life 24/7.  This path leads me away from who I want to be, and I’m grateful for the insight.

It may not happen overnight but that knowledge will help me to turn it around.  To learn a different kind of surrender.

One where there is no longer any expectation of a particular outcome.  There is simply a willingness to accept whatever happens.

Placing the control firmly back to the Inner Wisdom, the inner me that wants me to live my best life.  Who could ask for more than that.

Loving Yourself the Greatest Love of All

Do you know the story of Narcissus the son of the blue Nymph Leiriope of Thespia?   Narcissus was a beautiful child who grew into a very handsome man. Leaving a trail of broken hearts in his wake, he wanted nothing to do with falling in love  and rebuffed all attempts to show him the joy of it.

Broken hearted, a rejected admirer beseeched the gods to punish vain Narcissus.  Hearing the plea Artemis, goddess of the hunt, doomed Narcissus to fall in love with a love that could never be fulfilled.

Coming upon his reflection in a clear pool of water, Narcissus became enchanted with his own beauty and finally fell in love – without knowing it was himself.

Trying to reach the person he saw in the pool, he dipped his arms into the water only to discover that the person was gone.  No matter how many times he tried, the reflection disappeared with the disturbed, rippling water,   Narcissus never managed to connect with himself, the person he loved.

Eventually Narcissus pined away and died.  His body was never found, but in the spot where he had languished, a beautiful flower bloomed.  Named Narcissus, its beauty is still enjoyed in gardens worldwide.

Reading the book ‘You can create an exceptional life’ (http://www NULL.amazon NULL.co NULL.uk/You-Create-Exceptional-Life-Conversations/dp/184850585X) I was struck by the similarities that occur when you don’t know how to love yourself, the person who you are being at any given moment.

So many people find themselves unlovable, choosing instead to inflict themselves with the pain of self judgement, self criticism, self loathing, unworthiness and many other negative traits that often come from others views and opinions over their life time.

Narcissus looked in the mirror of the pool, but he didn’t see himself.  Instead he saw a person he perceived as being worthy of being loved.

How often do you look in a mirror and see the beauty of your soul shining out from your eyes.  It takes courage to face yourself in this way and not look for imagined flaws.

It’s easier to tell your loved ones ‘I love you’ than face the truth of who you see in that mirror.  Try looking into your own eyes and say ‘I love you.  I really love you, just as you are’.

Maybe you’re squirming with embarrassment with thoughts of ‘no way’.  Your image distorts and disappears, leaving the self judgemental and the critical to rear their ugly images instead.

Here’s the good news.  Those images and thoughts of who you think you are, they’re not real.  They only exist in your mind because you brought them into being.

The real you is the one hiding behind those beautiful eyes, waiting for the opportunity to shine it’s light in the world.  If you’re willing to practice looking for the real you every day, something magical happens.

You learn to love yourself, warts and all, in the knowledge that the inner you is the real person.  The one who waits in the stillness, ready to open your mind to the Inner Wisdom that is the essence of who you really are.

Narcissus never found his inner beauty or wisdom.  But what a legacy he left for us to learn from.

photo credit Narcissus: timtak (http://www NULL.flickr NULL.com/photos/nihonbunka/5495749435/) via photopin (http://photopin NULL.com) cc (http://creativecommons NULL.org/licenses/by-nc/2 NULL.0/)

photo credit Beauty: zeze57 (http://www NULL.flickr NULL.com/photos/zeze57/3392027689/) via photopin (http://photopin NULL.com) cc (http://creativecommons NULL.org/licenses/by-nd/2 NULL.0/)

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