Surrender versus Control

Light bulb moment - I don’t know how to surrender.  It’s quite a shock as I believed that I was quite good at surrendering.  Turns out I was wrong.  My Inner Controller has had the upper hand all along.

Away from home and helping out with my grandchildren my Internet connection didn’t work.  Horrors of horrors this meant that I was unable to write any posts.

Why worry over such a small blip?  No Internet meant I couldn’t work and I wasn’t happy.  The first small nudge that I don’t like it when I can’t control the outcome.

The second came a few days later.  Barely through the front door and the phone went.  Planned work was cancelled and needed to be rescheduled.  A small detail in the scheme of things but I was so angry.  I wasn’t rude but I wasn’t pleasant either.  Mostly angry that my plans had been scuppered.

Being in control appears to be something that I have made important.  And yet life doesn’t work out that way.  It’s impossible to be in control 24/7.  Wanting that is clearly a road that leads to feelings of disappointment, pain and the chaos of being out of control.

I could name a hundred and one different times, serious or minor, that the outcome has been taken out of my control.  It’s enough to recognise that it happens on a regular basis.

These good, bad or indifferent occurrences all have one thing in common.  Which is the fact that the end result lies in someone else’s hands.  I thought I was in control but, in reality it was never the case.

Most of the time I’m a bit player who’s puffed up my part of the action.

These days I get over myself pretty quickly.  Through the Three Principles of Mind, Thought and Consciousness (http://www NULL.threeprinciplesfoundation NULL.org/)I’m aware that there is never a time when I’m not in control of my thoughts.  I know this and yet I still want to to control the outcome rather than the thought.  Crazy or what!

I know on every level of my being that my Inner Wisdom is unable to communicate with the me who has control issues.  I just don’t know how to surrender that control and set the inner me free.

I’m fine when everything’s going my way.  Life flows the way I want it to and all’s well in my world.  But it’s an illusion that stops me from seeing how much I’m trying to force the outcome.

It stops me from seeing that I am placing my trust on others and what happens in the world outside of me.  News flash.  There isn’t a single person alive who can control other peoples action or what goes on in the world.

The only thing that any one of us can control is our thoughts.  We can change outcomes by looking at things differently.

The truth is that I’ve already surrendered.  I just didn’t know that I’d surrendered to the need to be in control of my life 24/7.  This path leads me away from who I want to be, and I’m grateful for the insight.

It may not happen overnight but that knowledge will help me to turn it around.  To learn a different kind of surrender.

One where there is no longer any expectation of a particular outcome.  There is simply a willingness to accept whatever happens.

Placing the control firmly back to the Inner Wisdom, the inner me that wants me to live my best life.  Who could ask for more than that.